These Phrases shared by A Dad Which Helped Me during my time as a Brand-New Dad

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for a year."

One-time reality TV star Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the challenges of becoming a dad.

But the reality rapidly turned out to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Serious health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was pushed into acting as her primary caregiver while also taking care of their newborn son Leo.

"I handled every night time, every nappy change… every walk. The job of mother and father," Ryan shared.

Following nearly a year he reached burnout. That was when a talk with his parent, on a park bench, that helped him see he required support.

The straightforward phrases "You're not in a good place. You must get support. What can I do to support you?" created an opening for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and regain his footing.

His experience is commonplace, but infrequently talked about. While society is now better used to discussing the strain on moms and about PND, far less attention is paid about the struggles fathers go through.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his struggles are linked to a broader failure to open up between men, who still hold onto negative perceptions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and remains standing time and again."

"It is not a sign of being weak to seek help. I didn't do that quick enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men often don't want to admit they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not justified to be seeking help" - most notably in front of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the opportunity to request a break - spending a few days overseas, outside of the family home, to gain perspective.

He came to see he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings as well as the day-to-day duties of looking after a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd failed to notice "what she was yearning" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has transformed how Ryan sees being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the expression of feelings and understand his parenting choices.

The notion of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen lacked consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences caused his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "bad decisions" when he was younger to modify how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as a way out from the hurt.

"You find your way to behaviours that aren't helpful," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, confide in a friend, your spouse or a counsellor how you're feeling. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that made you feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. It could be exercising, socialising or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical stuff - nutritious food, physical activity and where possible, sleep, all are important in how your mind is coping.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - hearing about their experiences, the messy ones, and also the good ones, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that requesting help does not mean you've failed - looking after your own well-being is the optimal method you can support your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the passing, having had no contact with him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead provide the security and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - processing the frustrations constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they confronted their struggles, changed how they talk, and figured out how to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I think my purpose is to instruct and tell you on life, but in reality, it's a exchange. I'm learning as much as you are through this experience."